bleah

You know that feeling of utter and complete dispair? Thats wat im feeling right now...or atleast i was till 5 mins ago...until someone shoved a bit of sense into my head and told me to live my life one day at a time...im not usually the paranoid kind but lately ive been feeling that way...i know im the bindaas(dont care a damn) kinda girl but...sometimes...it just hits you...and when u want that non-carish attitude of yours to come out more than anything else in the world, it just doesnt.And then the paranoia just kicks in...Im so confused about where im going, what im going to do..i know im going to eventually do big things in my life but i have no clue when, where or what it is im going to do...and that feeling at times just starts to eat into you and you need a punching bag( as is wat this friend of mine is willing to pose as). I really need some time-out. Fine people have bigger issues, but this is my ISSUE. But only time can fix it......cuz i cant say, here and now, where im going to be a year from now.Another thing that really got me thinking is how when some people make an exit from your life, a fresh bunch make an entrance...and somehow...its all for the better...this venting out process really helps....sigh....

hmmmmm

Im happy with my life....but still it feels like something's missing...dont know if im reading into things too much or if i shud just let it be...ill probably just let it be cuz im too lazy to figure out wat it is...(now all this sounds so twisted in my head!)...the past week has been a blast....ONLY good times...didnt really have a low point at any time.....starting sunday, cp concert(blast! drunk for 5 hours straight!), all the lunches, all the dinners (ODing on food...not good) last night's "jam" session at home....its all been fun fun and more fun....but something still isnt there...aarrrgh anyway who cares...im happy and content...ma's leaving for the hospital for 5 weeks tmrw....just thinking of it as a long holiday and that she'll be back home soon.....but home just isnt home without her...seems more like a hostel..people trooping in n out...but when amma's around everything just lightens up....the amount of love that just oozes out of her is truely amazing and just one look at her makes u feel sooo much better....damn im gonna miss her....aah no...its only a matter of 5 weeks...yay....(consoling myself seems to be helping quite a bit).....some people have suddenly entered my life and i feel really good about that cuz their amazing individuals who i have a lot to learn from..i guess the right people come into ur life at a point when their needed and their here to stay....feeling sane again:)

My three addictions:) My neices Dia and Treia and my precious nephew Kian:D luuuhuuuurve these munchkins to death:)

happiness

dammit just wrote one entire bleedy post n it all got wiped out! so will try and recall wat i wrote (i have the memory of a goldfish so that might be a tad too hard)
oh right i was talking about the happiness....life is good again....wayyy good....no guilt...no stress....just full masti:) ive got my work in order, my dance which is going great and my jingbang:) its nice to be smiling and bindaas again after the hell i went thru the past few months....my dance is just kickass....i might have to perform at the international dance festival in bombay in april..the fact that my teacher had so much faith in me to ask me to do this without batting an eyelid made me feel so good about myself..i guess she trusted me when i was 4 and she trusts me now...thats how long she's been teaching me for...not only is she my guru but also my friend and thats wat i love about her....we strike a balance which is so tough to maintain but we do it so damn easily...:) she's been asked to perform othello using pure kathakali next summer at the globe theatre in london...this is a dream come true for her...and she wants me to accompany her:D dont know if i can perform but just to be around such great people is the best feeling ever! and there's juust sooo much to learn out of these experiences and i plan to make the most of it! life's gooooooood:D cudnt ask for more......me and my madness will always remain intact:)

SLEEP DEPRIVED

im severly sleep deprived....havent slept in something like 8 nights or so..but somehow i still have the energy to do a hundred other things! latest problem...becoming an orkut addict....NOT good as work does not get done! waiiiiting for goa to happen...need a holiday...oh god im feeling sleepy just writing about sleeping....had a party sat night at iro's place...was just soooooo much fun...everyone was fairly zonked by 11 pm and therefore half the party left...but the one's who stayed behind were kickass! nice amount of kudiks happened....especially kusha who was at her entertaining best!!! eventually named abhimaaaaanyu MANJUUU and only she can say it right!!! during the course of the ever so drunken night kusha was named Bizzmillah...YESS.... dont ask why..but she wants to name one of her triplets that...and now she's bizmi...also had chumbbymanyu's feet near my face...which wasnt a fun situation to be in...plus had the over -powering smell of fa talcum powder which we had extremely joblessly decided to cover manju's head with...poor child...was so oblivious to the shananigans that were taking place around him while he was in deep slumber......should have baptised manju and her as these names are gonna stick around for a while...im still the same old borrriiing gopa...teehee:D just happy im not stuck with some ridiculous name like bizmi! oh brilliant now the sleepy feeling is gone!! FINALLY i can work without feeling droopy eyed!!!!

soft parade...

The Doors, one of the most influential and controversial rock bands of the 1960s, were formed in Los Angeles in 1965 by UCLA film students Ray Manzarek, keyboards, and Jim Morrison, vocals; with drummer John Densmore and guitarist Robby Krieger. The group never added a bass player, and their sound was dominated by Manzarek's electric organ work and Morrison's deep, sonorous voice, with which he sang and intoned his highly poetic lyrics. The group signed to Elektra Records in 1966 and released its first album, The Doors, featuring the hit "Light My Fire," in 1967. Like "Light My Fire," the debut album was a massive hit, and endures as one of the most exciting, groundbreaking recordings of the psychedelic era. Blending blues, classical, Eastern music, and pop into sinister but beguiling melodies, the band sounded like no other. With his rich, chilling vocals and somber poetic visions, Morrison explored the depths of the darkest and most thrilling aspects of the psychedelic experience. Their first effort was so stellar, in fact, that the Doors were hard-pressed to match it, and although their next few albums contained a wealth of first-rate material, the group also began running up against the limitations of their recklessly disturbing visions. By their third album, they had exhausted their initial reservoir of compositions, and some of the tracks they hurriedly devised to meet public demand were clearly inferior to, and imitative of, their best early work.
On The Soft Parade, the group experimented with brass sections, with mixed results. Accused (without much merit) by much of the rock underground as pop sellouts, the group charged back hard with the final two albums they recorded with Morrison, on which they drew upon stone-cold blues for much of their inspiration, especially on 1971's L.A. Woman. From the start, the Doors' focus was the charismatic Morrison, who proved increasingly unstable over the group's brief career. In 1969, Morrison was arrested for indecent exposure during a concert in Miami, an incident that nearly derailed the band. Nevertheless, the Doors managed to turn out a series of successful albums and singles through 1971, when, upon the completion of L.A. Woman, Morrison decamped for Paris. He died there, apparently of a drug overdose. The three surviving Doors tried to carry on without him, but ultimately disbanded. Yet the Doors' music and Morrison's legend continued to fascinate succeeding generations of rock fans: In the mid-'80s, Morrison was as big a star as he'd been in the mid-'60s, and Elektra has sold numerous quantities of the Doors' original albums plus reissues and releases of live material over the years, while publishers have flooded bookstores with Doors and Morrison biographies. In 1991, director Oliver Stone made The Doors, a feature film about the group starring Val Kilmer as Morrison.

irrrrrrrritating but the ultimate sweethearts...

a tad better!

hellooooooooo....yes as u can see im a little happier with life now:):) i guess once u get into the mood of things its a little easier on you...finished off two exams....so dont have to look at another economics textbook for the rest of my liiiiiiiife!( until i have children n have to tutor them! gaaaaaaak!) :) I kicked ass in both papers!! so very very relieved and all that last minute cramming was totally worth it:) still have 4 more to go but wont lose hope! hehe had the best sleep everrrr last night! i technically woke up around 8 this morning but lazed around in bed till around 10 n that was a bloody good feeling:D considering i havent slept in something like 5 nights! :) now im baaack to my happy sunshiny life:Dwheeeeeeeeeeee!

see i want to be all happy n sunshiny like this again!!! whyyyy do i have to cram like this for an absolutely USELESS exam...i call it useless because it truely is....actually i shouldnt be blaming the exam...but bangalore university....this is how bad it gets...for instance last year, our answer papers were found floating through the corridors of the examination office in B.U. in water bacause of the monsoons!!!!!!! can believe how ridiculously DAFT these morons are! there were just stacks and stacks of papers lying on the ground waiting to be corrected!!! arrrrrrrrrgggggh ok venting big time....there's just so much to do and im not sure ill finish... i waaant my happy days back!!!!

insaaaaaaaane

seriously going insane.....have my finals in 5 days n i dont know much....pushed it till the last minute as usual....honestly losing my mind...i need to give this my all but i cant and i dont know why....so so messed....no point in whining about it but actually doing something about it....but im still so so scared.....my life just seems so uncertain....actually IT IS uncertain....i dont know whats in store for me in july....whether ill go back to the mundane life of college or whether ill work...i want to work...but i also owe an explanation to my folks for making that choice .... and right now i have nothing.....atleast not enough reasons for making this decision.....but right now i cant think about all that as much as it bothers me....i have this one obstacle in 5 days to work my way thru.....seriously should bury my nose into those dusty books....aaaarrrrggggh!

Splitting headache

it all seems just so darn vague to me...exams start in 22 days n its all still a big fat haze to me...sick n tired of worrying about them...seriously wanted to get out of this routine...of exams...and pre-exams stress....never show it...but its perennially hanging over my head like a dark cloud....i just wanted to take a year out and get away from this shit but dammit i cant...family obligations...its always about that....NOT happy....but as usual...will get over it....zzzzzzz

A creature named Iromi

It loves to sleep. As is what it's doing right about now. Its also perenially complaning about it's hair...it also gets grabbed by random bushes while "watching" a very pretty person strut itself..it almost ALWAYS has an ailment...usually something to do with the left side of it's face hurting...seriously how is that physicallyy possible...unless it was punched...but that wasnt so...it always uses its sri lankan charm and converts the most normal of situations into a sensational, and at the same time HILARIOUS situation:) it makes the most perfect partner to drag to airlines, in the scorching heat, to accompany a letching friend:) hmmm that friend being me:P it also took salsa classes with me but swore never to go back to them for the intermmediate course with her highly ambitious friend! again...ME.... love it to bits though!! despite all its abnormal habits:)! its entertainment material 24/7!it's stood by me through a helluva lot of tough times! some which it may not consider "tough"! hehe and our quite wine drinking sessions shall never fail to lift us:) in every way:) probably can't do without it in my life!! can't help but love it!! Iromikaaaaaaaa:) this one is a tribute to you!! mmmmwah!!! please please please don't kolt me:P Go hudds! always remember that!!
ps: iro admit u just luuhuuuurve aggro utts:)

Firsttimer:)

ok...i will shamelessly admit...im a firstimer in this blogging world:) was quite intruiged by the whole concept and therefore decided to give it a shot...was just asking iroms today what actually goes into blogging! she looked quite blank as it obviously comes naturally to her...she did eventually explain to me what it was all about...well this is my first posting so will keep it short...but i shall be back with more stories about insects biting my foot...as is what ms. Iromi Perera very successfully put up about me....:)