Moods Part II

sleepy.

hungry.

mundane.

excitment needed.

happy? maybe.

satisfied? no.

routine-d? a little too.

love? zilch.

Homeward bound, I wish I was

People keep asking me this one question over and over again. "So do you miss Bangalore?". I say no. Why? Because Bombay's done a helluva lot of good for me, that honestly, bangalore never really ,managed to do. I am my own person now, finally. The few things i miss terribly about bangalore are my family, my home, and my closest friends. More than anyone else, my mother. I'm down with high fever right now, which probably explains the emo content in this mail. Sigh.

Torn

Have never been so torn, so confused.

Go away.

Soon.

Slumdog Reality

Shocking, but I managed to watch the movie only last night, a few hours before the live telecast of the 81st Academy Awards a.k.a The Oscars. I was expecting a LOT, post movie reviews and friends who spent a month selling the movie to me. Last night, it struck me at 10pm. My DVD player came on, niyu, aditi, pi and parul were forced to watch it (quite happily) for the nth time !

Slumdog Millionaire stirred something inside of me, that I hadn't experienced in a VERY long time. It was a mixture of many emotions, anxiety, shock, anger, joy, all rolled into one. Forgetting little Salim's face is so SO hard right now. That face just stayed put in my head, and will stay put for a long long time. His eyes, they expressed so much. Innocence that was taken away from him too soon, fear, an emotion he had never experienced, mischief, something he was well acquainted with, and joy, something he would experience only in the end.

It's uncanny though, Rubina Ali and Mohammed Azharuddin truely are slumdog millionaires. From rags to riches. From being just another face in slum land to having their faces being splashed over every tv channel. The happiness, the relief, and more than anything else the amazement of discovering a new life, for these two kids, Slumdog Millionaire wrote their destiny.

Current mood:

1. cold

2. irritated

3. contemplative (too often)

4. confused as shite

5. but happy

bleagh.

A true Mumbaikar, or so i'de like to think

It still hasn't really struck me, that i no longer live at home, in my little shell, doing my little happy things. I'de like to think i grew up overnight, took my life into my own hands, and started afresh, but never forgetting or letting go of the memories Bangalore holds tight for me. The abode is heavenly, in every way,the friends are amazing, the roomies are gems, work is challenging to an extent, but to be honest, life just couldn't get any better. I've met such interesting people, done things i would never do, and altogether just watching the world go by, and latched on whenever necessary. The journey by train everyday keeps me so highly entertained. I literally glue my i pod earphones to my ears and proceed to concoct stories about all the women around me, in my ladies compartment. Wondering what their lives must be like, the pressures, the happiness, what they might be going home to, the obligations etc. It may sound strange but believe me, it keeps you entertained for those 60 minutes everyday. I'm so so glad I took this crucial step in my life, Utts, i can safely say, has FINALLY grown up :) and is quite successfully living the Mumbai life!!!

Seems Appropriate

Adele- Chasing Pavements

Ive made up my mind
dont need to think it over
if im wrong i am right
dont need to look no further
this aint lust i know this is love

but if i tell the world
i'll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if i end up with you

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

i build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

or should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

yeaaah ehh

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep on chasing pavements
should i just keep on chasing pavements

ohhhh ohh

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

You wonder why

I'm having an out-of-body experience... always wondered what that feels like...and now i do...
dazed and confused. i know i'm doing something that's very momentary.. it's so wrong but it feels so right (cliched.i know.) it's not long term. it can't be. i miss my life. more than what's good for me. waking up with that icky feeling in the pit of your stomach. i hate it. i want it to go away. i'm beign self-destructive. but i can't stop myself. there are moments when im blissed, milliseconds if possible, and then doom sets in. it can't happen. it can't be rectified. i want to be with him but i can't give my all because of this feeling of inadequacy, i repeat, doom.

" cuz i still haven't found, what i'm looking for " - doubt i ever will.


bye.

My Tattoo =)

It's fiiinalllyyyy here!!!! When i get the time i shall write a longer post=)
Fromise=)
for now, just oggle and drool at this baby=)

The suuuper happy post =)

squeal!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3yrCUyPvTo&eurl=http://www.orkut.com/FavoriteVideoView.aspx?uid=5318645893096691410&ad=1193727023

The past

The past few days have been filled with mixed feelings. most of the time i've been happy and content buttt...a couple of hours here and there have been suuuper low...and i don't know why. and i hate that i don't know why. i had a really fulfilling weekend, and a mid-week holiday (which are the BESTEST holiday's EVER!). after months i had actually taken a day off and loafed (in the true sense of the word) with the rewan all dayy looong. CCD,MG,CCD. od'd on chocolate, big time, it felt sooo good. we were happy and not just normal happy, but shiny happy people happy. but then there have been the low points the fast few days. utter state of confusion and well madness running around inside my head. hopefully it should all straighten. hope. a word i've been riding on for too long. hmmm.

Bigger,Better things

We all aspire to move onto bigger and better things...sometimes it all falls into your lap, and sometime, well, it just doesnt. I'm part of the latter category right now. Certain things i want that seem to be impossible to attain right now, it's frustrating , but like a friend once told me ,"keep the faith" and i sure as hell am doing that. Just hope it works out, settles down,gets better. Bigger and better.

Bah.

Nostalgia and CP

CP's back!!!:D With the biggest bang EVER! It was a suuuuper nostalgic weekend...everyone together again, alcohol,food and awesome company. And what do you know! They qualified for the finals for Independence Rock! They had a blast up on stage, you could see it, and you could feel their energy, and that's all that mattered:) Anurag and Unni chugging away their beer, Kenny resorting to drinking straight out of a pitcher (!?!), kissu "waaat raaaa" demanding his glass of pepsi, and Jason, well, holidaying away in Singapore! T'was ferfect:) And their back next weekend to pump up the energy and set that stage on fire!!! (please don't ACTUALLY do that! I'm NOT paying for the damages!!!) Go here for more fotus!

Last Night

It was plain,blissed fun, after quite a few days. rewan askay me ravi. laughed lots. pee'd lots. ate lots. talked about bikes a LOT(!?!) . has to be done again super soon.my wowers.

Us

i miss us. all of us. together. drunk. tripping on each other. spitting on each other. tickling each other. beating each other.being there for each other. at the end of the day, loving each other.my boyses. my pillars of , well, a lot more than strength. my saviors. anger,tears,joy,bliss..we've seen it all, we've felt it all. lollipops.toffees.omelette curry.old monk rum(for them).KF(for me).car rides.getting lost.getting picked up.playing the three chords of "nothing else matters" over and over.fatty.beedis.noons.rice bowl.frankie's hugs.unni's beating.anu's maan.i miss us.

All grown up

She's all growp up. I could be talking about me AND her. Those days when we used to scratch each other's eyes out at a drop of a hat are now only distant memories. The bonding makes me feel all happy and blissed, especially with my older sister image*snicker*...all the late nights,stuffing our already stuffed faces...the familiar, the NOT SO familiar...it's pure bliss, every second...all the fighting only brought us closer together. Miss you babe. Happy IIT day:) ummmmmah

Ceaser's Palace

Their making it huge day by day and no words can spell out how proud i am of them! Better start getting their autographs before it goes whoosh to their heads. Love you boysus! For your music, support and wowe!

Their first recording which was due to sheer luck and they had no clue!--------www.myspace.com/ceasersmusic

Bah!

Second blog entry for the day...monotony fills my day...it was so exciting 2 weeks ago and now? pure and simple-monotony...i want that feeling off excitement/bliss back..like the title of this post aptly puts it ...BAH..watching..and...well....waiting. bleah feeling go away!!!

The Epitome of Humour

One word. Frasier.

Frasier: I DO NOT HAVE A FAT FACE!Niles: Oh please, I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter!Author, Author
Niles: Now order has been restored. By hiring a plumber, that plumber can now afford, say, a Dolly Parton album. Miss Parton can then finance a national tour which will of course come to Seattle, allowing some local promoter to make enough to send his cross-dressing teenaged son to us for $150 an hour therapy. Frasier: To the circle of life. (They clink glasses)Seat of Power

Frasier: Advertising? Isn't that a bit commercial for a psychiatrist?Niles: Said Dr Pot to Dr Kettle.Love Bites Dog
Niles: I know I don't have your total support, but ... how shall I put this?Frasier: You don't care.Niles: If you could work the phrase "rat's ass" in there you'd have it. Mixed Doubles
Martin: For God's sake, Frasier, you're forty-one years old - it's time you learned something. The system ain't perfect - sometimes the bad guy wins. And all those things you thought would be around to help you, the courts and the police department - well, sometimes, they're just not there when you need them, so you can let it eat a hole in your stomach or you can just file it away under the heading "Sometimes life sucks." Frasier: Yeah, well, that file's getting pretty thick!The Crucible
Niles: Those were awful, those family driving vacations. Dad insisting on covering as many miles as possible in a day; the two of us, tiny hostages in the back seat, clutching our car sickness bags, straining to see something out of the window as the landscape whizzed by. I was 13 before I realized cows aren't blurry. Travels with Martin
Frasier: You know the expression "Living well is the best revenge"?Niles: Wonderful expression. I just don't know how true it is, you don't see it turning up in a lot of opera plots. "Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaked vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well." Seat of Power

Niles: And I stormed out and slammed the door! Of course, it was that fourteenth century Bavarian cathedral door, so I had to get two of the servants to help me, but what it lacked in spontanaity it made up for in resonance. The Last Time I saw Maris

LOL

A fresh start:)

I bagged my dream job 3 days ago:) im fiiiiiinally employed at Radio Indigo which has been a job i've wanted for quite a while now:) I'm having a blast, working bloody hard, and enjoying every moment of it:) Though my body clock is still getting accustomed to the insane work hours, im having the time of my life:) and my sapota's have truely stood by me through this whole time...just hearing their encouraging words ...the tantrums they've put up with one too many times...love them to death and more..oooh the happy day's are back:D IM EMPLOYED!!!!